Weather dickdom

It’s summer, and it’s probably hot where you are. It’s hot where I am, that’s for sure. Dickdom is a creeping, subtle thing that finds its way into people before they know it.

You ever watch the weather, and there’s a map covered with 3-digit temperatures, and across the whole thing in big letters it says ‘WARM’? No. That is incorrect infomation. ‘Warm’ was 30 degrees ago. And they do the same thing in the winter, just put ‘COOL’ over a map full of numbers in the teens. This is a dick move that I’ll bet you never thought about.

Dave Letterman
Pat Sajak

70’s forecasters were special kinds of dicks. They were just a little too bright and sunny for early morning when I haven’t had my coffee yet.

Here’s an example of me being a weather dick. It’s possible for it to both snow, and not have snowed, at the same time. Think about it. The NWS records anything under a certain amount as a ‘trace’, which gets record as either 0 inches of snow or 0.00 inches of rain. So, even though you may have seen it raining, a year from now were you to look at the weather records, it will show that zero precip was received that day. It’s sort of Orwellian doublethink, in a way.

There are people I know, that will tell me ‘Bring an umbrella, it’s going to rain!’. OK, one, this is Colorado. It’s probably not going to rain. Just because the TV weather said 10% chance of showers, doesn’t mean it’s going to rain. It means there’s a 90% chance there’s not going to be showers. It means the weather guy just plain isn’t sure (and I don’t fault him for that), so he’s mentioning it so that just in case it god forbid DOES rain, he mentioned it and his reputation remains unbesmirched. This feels incedibly subtly dickish to me.

Imagine if I did that at work. “Hi, I’m on my way with your food, but there’s a 2 percent chance I might drive into an oncoming semi.”

We have the technology, and the knowhow. It’s 2022, we’re at the height of our civilization. Why do we ever have to experience temperatures above, or below, 65 degrees?

Have a great day everyone!

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