The Night Driver

That’s it. That’s the post.

And right there, is a prime example of being a dick. You were expecting more (which I will happily provide), but I led you on. Or did I?

Dickdom is a creeping disease, that most people don’t know they have until they’ve been being dicks for years. And it sucks when it’s laid at your feet. “Hey Fred, don’t be a dick!”.

And then I get to thinking … “Hmm.. well, if I was being a dick here, are there more situations in which I was a dick?”. And like that, ba-zow, I’m thick into dickdom.

And literally everyone can be a dick . Ownership of one is not required for membership in dickdom . Superheroes can be dicks. Big surprise for me, was that dickdom goes way back in history. Apparently, people were dicks in Biblical times too!

Here’s my list, and I’m guilty of every single one of these. You might be.

• Borrowing my car, parking it in the sun, right after you had the Enchilada del Diablo, and locking a fart in the closed car. You know who you are.
• Not answering the phone or text, when you are expecting said phone call or text. We’re all too stoned to find the phone, but at least try.
• Being subtle. Bear with me here, this will take a second to get there. “If you feel like it can you [random task]?” Phrasing things this way implies an option exists to decline, when in fact there is none. This is a very common dick move. Just tell me what you would like me to do, and I’ll put it on the queue.
• Asking for a ride: This in and of itself isn’t a dick move, since we all need to get places. But when asking for a ride, one should have two points: A pickup point, and a dropoff point. But some people, it’s like clicking on the little arrow thingie in your file manager. Click it, and all this other shit appears. Arrows within arrows.
  What started as a ride turned into 4 hours of various stops and backtracking. This is a dick move. Unless you’ve already consulted me about this sort of trip (if you declare everything, I might be OK with it).